|Usually, I don’t quote the work of others, but in this situation, I found it to be worthwhile.
On Reddit ((One of the best news sites on the web)) this morning, and I came across a forum post about “How to find friends after college”, and came across this gem of a comment from SolarSavior.
The guy probably gets no ass and his whole life consists of Reddit and playing Call of Duty on XBOX Live, but
You’ve got the cart before the horse. Girlfriend comes last. Read that again. Girlfriend comes last. (in the sequence of things, not in how you care for one) “Get a life” first and the pressure that you’re putting on yourself for not having a girlfriend will quickly disappear. I promise.
If you managed to get one now, you’d probably bore her to death and she’d dump you. You need to “get a life” first. She’ll want to share your life. You’ll want to share her life too. If you had a life, you wouldn’t be here asking where to find friends.
You don’t need a girlfriend. You WANT a girlfriend. Women KNOW when you don’t have your life together. It will show in your lack of confidence and they won’t be excited by you.
Pay attention.
Women don’t want you following them like a puppy. They want you to lead. Take them by the hand and show them the world. They want to be wanted, not needed. They want to be “swept off their feet.”
So, get yourself a bunch of hobbies. Yes, you can meet people online, but you can not “get a life” online. Life is nowhere to be found online. You must get out of the house and get out there. In many cases you’ll be brand new to the hobby and have to go it alone for a while. Just do it. Get through it. It does suck and you’ll feel like a dolt sometimes when you don’t know things, but you’ll get through it and your life will expand. This will build your confidence. You’ll make friends as you go. Work on yourself. Get so damn busy doing your own thing with all of your hobbies that you don’t even think about missing a girlfriend. Then an amazing thing will happen. Suddenly you’ll “get a life”, women will take notice and you’ll have a girlfriend. Women will notice when you’ve “got it goin’ on”.
You’re just out of college. The world is right there in front of you. It’s time to “get a life”. Get out there and figure out what you like to do, what you believe, and get to know yourself. I can not stress this enough. “Know thyself”. Once you know yourself, you’ll have incredible confidence and women will take notice.
“Get a life”, get a girlfriend.
And if that first girlfriend doesn’t work out, no sweat. You still have your life. Once you have your life, women are like buses, another one will be along in ten minutes.
The guy makes absolute sense with this. I always meet men who bitch about not having a girlfriend or not being capable to get one and this wonderful comment summarizes why.
Women don’t want to be with losers who pine for them. The only women who want guys like that are the ones guys like me don’t want anything to do with: needy, naive, love-fools who have a preconceived thought of what love is, mostly by watching Disney films and romantic comedies.
So, summarizing, if you want to lead a happy, fulfilled life, you need to figure yourself out first. No woman of status wants to spend every free minute of her life with any man. No woman of status would ever want to be with someone whose life consists of her and just her.
Not even gold diggers want that kind of shit; they only want your money!
