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A Guide to Threesome Etiquette

The threesome. Oh, the threesome. The defining moment in kinkiness.

ABC News reported in 2004 that 14 percent of people have had participated in a form of the threesome1. Based on my own research, less than 5 percent of men walking the Earth have been involved in a threesome and, of that number, probably only 10 percent have reached the holy grail: The Male-Female-Female (MFF) threesome. If you have been down the path of any ménage à trois, I applaud you.

For those who have been to the “dark side”, and for those who eventually will join us, there are rules and regulations for both types of threesomes that should apply to a heterosexual man.

Male-Male-Female (MMF) Threesome

The MMF threesome is the stranger, yet more straightforward version of the threesome: Stranger because it might be weird for you to see another dude naked, yet more straightforward because you will know your place in the act without much question.

Unless you have kinkier dilemmas I can’t even fathom getting into2, a woman has three holes that may be filled in a MMF: vagina, mouth, anal3.

  • Double penetration of any kind should be expected. Whether it’s vagina/anal, double vagina, or (gasp) double anal, you should be prepared to have your man parts touch another set of man parts. If you’re that homophobic, avoid the MMF.
  • Most of the time, if a woman is willing to get double teamed, odds are she wants the cum in her or on her, but always ask her where she wants it. Just like traditional sex, don’t just assume she wants it in her ear unless she specifically asks for it in her ear.
  • Communication is essentially important in the MMF; you must talk to both the woman and the man involved. Having two straight men fucking one woman is already weird as it is; you don’t need any more awkwardness due to miscommunication.
  • Don’t high-five one another during it, at any point; it’s just childish. You’re having a threesome with another guy involved; you’re not a pimp.
  • Though the woman is definitely on the slutty side if she’s letting two men inside of her, don’t treat her like a whore. You must respect her at all times: before, during, and after. Women have strange fantasies just like men do; just because she fulfills one doesn’t make her any less of a person than you are.

The MMF threesome can be a fun time for all, even if there is only one vagina to penetrate. As long as you keep your mind open and your male genitals away from other male genitals, you’ll have a memory that’ll last forever.

Male-Female-Female (MFF) Threesome

Now we get to the juicy stuff…

As mentioned earlier, the odds of a man experiencing the “holy grail” in his lifetime4 is slim, but with the right combination of social and physical attributes, it is more than possible.

I have a bit of a disclaimer before I continue: If you are looking to have an MFF threesome involving your significant other, ready yourself for the worst, as I have heard stories of relationships ending due to this kind of threesome. To prevent this from happening:

  • Always choose an outside woman to be the “third wheel” in the threesome; utilizing a friend of hers/yours might not always be the best idea, as jealousy develops quickly when the third party is still around. You can search the internet5 or visit a bar and pick up the sluttiest, drunkest girl there6
  • Pay more attention to your woman than to the third party at all times. In addition, ask for permission to interact with the other woman, even if it it as simple as staring at your girl while fondling the extra woman. You avoid potential jealousy issues this way and, like everything else in sex, communication between you and your partner is essential.
  • Keep your woman in the loop, even when you’re pleasing the third party. If this is a “straight” threesome7, while inside of the other woman, be sure to stimulate your woman too, whether it be talking dirty or fingering her; make sure she is involved in all facets of the encounter.

If you’re fortunate enough to find two unattached women interested in multi-person coitus, consider yourself a lucky hombre. Still, some brief tidbits:

  • There are two women involved and you must please them equally. Plus, you cannot forget about one participant in a situation that would usually get ignored. For example: If one woman is kissing you and the other is giving you oral sex, do not forget about the “sucker”8. Acknowledge her with your hands9 or give occasional verbal praise.
  • Communicate openly with both women, especially in the heat of passion. For example: When you’re ready to ejaculate, ask where you should climax10.
  • Do some research and have some MFF positions in your head for the actual event; try to have everyone involved at all times, with the exception of the two women pleasing one another while you gawk in amazement.

In contemporary times, there are committed relationships that do involve one man and two women and are not only sexually redeeming, but emotionally satisfying as well. If you are one of those lucky men who have two girlfriends11, even I, the Man of Exception, envy your position; what you have is what all men aspire to obtain12.

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  1. To see the extremely interesting study done, click here to download the PDF. It is 27 pages, but it surely is a worthwhile read. [↩]
  2. Including the nose, ear, between her toes, between her breasts, etc. [↩]
  3. If the anal hole isn’t an option due to her personal preferences, then it’s even more straightforward. [↩]
  4. … without paying for it [↩]
  5. Craigslist is a good source, as I have witnessed success using that platform before. [↩]
  6. Might be a better option than the Craigslist thing. [↩]
  7. “Straight” meaning the two women never touch each other and you’re the only one being pleased at all times. [↩]
  8. I couldn’t think of anything better to call her without being profane; I apologize. [↩]
  9. I don’t mean giving her a thumbs-up! [↩]
  10. If you’re lucky, they’ll both want a taste! [↩]
  11. … that know about one another [↩]
  12. Well, only if your two girlfriends are attractive. If you’re dating two moo-cows, I don’t assume anyone is looking up to you. [↩]

Tags: Sex

35 responses so far ↓

  • 1 satu basanow // Feb 25, 2008 at 2:01 pm

    and i am the 10 percent of the 5 percent mff …..difficult task,very exhausting and on top of all that they both want you to finish in or on them…what a hard choice literally,how do you choose which one gets the money shot without starting an argument….another one of those phenomena we only hope to run into,i was just at the right place at the right time for once,hahaha

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  • 3 Shiloh // Apr 28, 2008 at 2:15 pm

    I am female who has done it, wow! its such a lovely experience, men who did me respected me, they were both taking turns on me when the one was fucking me, the other would be sucking my breasts, when one is done, the next one would cuddle me and then fuck me, i had a great time and i will be doing it again

  • 4 thetaoofclit // Jun 13, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    I am a male, a repeat MFF threesome participant, have greatly enjoyed each of the times; I was fortunate in all four cases to be dating one of the two females, so she set the terms for the other female, ergo no frustrations regarding expectations. I would like an MMF simply for the virtue of trying new things, and the rules of etiquette here are concise and straightforward, I appreciate that.

  • 5 cherry // Jun 13, 2008 at 4:01 pm

    I am a female who has been a part of the MMF and an even more complicated MMFF foursome! Both are amazing experiences. But as you said, if you are too homophobic to even look at another man (or woman) naked, this is completely not for you ! Communication IS key! But in the end, when it is just a spur of the moment thing – it is 100 times better!!! Enjoy !

  • 6 777 // Jun 15, 2008 at 1:29 pm

    I did a mmf with my girlfriend and was surprised on how much I enjoyed watching her get fucked. Her pussy felt great too after it had been pounded. I want to do this again but have it be completely spontaneous.

  • 7 muffstomper24 // Jun 23, 2008 at 12:30 am

    Man I was involved in a MMMMF the other day. It was powerful. Considering the female was my wife I was rather shocked to see how well she handled me bringing the guys from the office home. It was a little awkward at first but as things progressed I found myself in the midst of a particularly pi cant experience. Things are pretty weird between us now though.

  • 8 KMH // Jul 3, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    I have to experienced this several times, and WOW! From the woman’s perspective, it is a rush. I simply gorge on the sexual feast.

    We women are taught that it’s shameful to desire two men cumming on & in you, that it is disgraceful. I beg to differ! What greater power to have than the ability to create the need for release and then be able facilitate it too. It really is OK to be pleased by two while being used for pleasure, as long as everyone is happy… No minors or animals are involved so my conscious is clear.

    I’m that good girl who had slept w/ 5 people in 20 years…until I met my husband. Now I get to go through that college slut phase I missed, without being a true slut. Well, just for a few hours here and there.

    One huge tip if you do like performing anal: LUBE! I don’t care if it seems awkward to get up to get it, if you want it, risk loosing the moment, it’ll come back. It is much more awkward getting that wide eyed look from her saying “you know this could of been real fun but…”

    I’d also say to experiment with a stranger, or someone you know real well. No in-between, no gray area. I’ve found that it’s harder to keep emotionally detached from some guy eager to flirt for days beforehand via email, IM, text or voice. You start feeling a tad “infatuated” by the flattery. Steer clear of the Rico Suaves- she’ll just feel bad or embarrassed if he never acknowledges the event. It’s a chick thing (for a lot of us anyway), we can’t help it, so just avoid it.

  • 9 alex // Jul 4, 2008 at 6:13 am

    the key to MMF is called the eiffel tower, its a high five.

  • 10 Rick // Jul 4, 2008 at 10:36 am

    Great rules for etiquette. Now if you can make a guide on how to introduce the concept.

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  • 12 Eric S. Raymond // Jul 4, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    My wife wanted me to host a MMMF for her, with me watching, so I did. I was so excited that I came while I was videotaping the whole thing.

    After the guys had finished and left, I ate her out, and cleaned up our bedroom.

    Cathy says we’re going to repeat it next weekend. I can’t wait.

  • 13 Nate // Jul 9, 2008 at 2:36 am

    Ok, that was just weird. I’m assuming that’s not the real Eric S Raymond…

    … who’s wife’s name really is Cathy…

  • 14 Nate // Jul 9, 2008 at 3:20 am

    … and is actually polyamorous…

  • 15 casa // Oct 12, 2008 at 9:23 am

    my God! MMF F= My wife of 5yrs and I were talking intimately during 4play when the lil lady told me her dirtyest fantasies – ONLY 2nds later admitted prior times to being the F in a drunken mmmf @ HER cha cha bcame soaked as she revealed the 3gents were outright invited and planed upon by her! She nxt moro joked it off. 1month later i got a drunk very attractive buddy to surprise malady & BY MORN iwas convinced ffm 3sm great but mmf salvaged her and I spontaneity . woman should be allowed 2 feel slutty and confidant in her mind about 2m pleasing her, i got a huge thrill in watching her enjoy being enjoyed

  • 16 casa // Oct 12, 2008 at 9:54 am

    ps you will make contac fellas, so be mature and confidant in your own sexuality not to tact grossed out or convinced the other male digs on you. i got a lil truth from my wives and I guest &LT friend, he from time i asked ,until he & I were watching my wife dance dirtyesr than eva my boy opens to my surprise & leans 2me & Says im gunna be mature….. but im lil bi! I guesS I Paniced a lil. @ 1st we 3 feelt a takeover in us long 2 short by morning i got a lil curiosity mself.& wife got a lil bi mmf outta us i got educated, i was so inexperienced now we3 meet a few times and plan and enjoy being 2gether

  • 17 Gir_Boi // Jan 1, 2009 at 4:47 pm

    Thank you for your insightful information about the MMF threesome. My girlfriend and I always wanted to do this, but didn’t know exactly what to do or who to look for. Eventually we had a threesome with one her male friends and the night was amazing. My gf loved being double penetrated and her friend and I got a change to explore our bisexuality—even my gf enjoyed watching me and her friend going at it. We took turns on our gf and the fun lasted for hours. Some can say that a threesome would ruin a relationship, but it made my gf and I closer in our three-year relationship. Thanks for all the great tips and ideas.

  • 18 Sara // Mar 1, 2009 at 7:32 pm

    I was lucky enough to have a threesome with my both my lovers..one male one female….who did not know each other. It was the best night of my life. I play it over and over in my head. I would really like to try mmf and this article was helpful.

  • 19 Jim // Mar 3, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    My wife and I went to a friends house and we all had sex and it was great! It opened our communications with each other, it got her satisfied too. I held a mans penis in my hand for the first time and I was VERY aroused, it was hot as heck. I never considered myself gay or bi, and I still don’t. We went again about a month later and I gave him a blowjob and my wife was cumming just watching. We had a great time. The BEST part about this is that my wife and I DO NOT feel threatened by him in our marriage at all. We don’t swing either. He will be our friend for years to come. We finally found that 1 person we can trust and fool around with when we can and want to.

  • 20 slg // Mar 14, 2009 at 8:48 pm

    I am an inexperianced woman whose boyfriend wants to have a threesome with another woman. My problem is this: I am nervous & don’t know how to start things off.

  • 21 Bob // Mar 25, 2009 at 11:05 am

    I want my gf to try a mmf with me and even offered to let her pic the guy… She still has reservations about it though… How do I convince her??

  • 22 Good girl/Bad girl // May 4, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    To Bob: Well, I was a little nervous myself about my first MMF, but from a woman’s perspective, we are not sure how you will truly feel afterward till it’s basically over with.

    I had my first one with a couple of guys; strangers, who were both involved in relationships with other women and it was their first time too.

    They both tried to be a little macho about it, it wasn’t meant to be a bisexual thing, they just wanted to make sure the other didn’t even think this was bi.

    I know what’s it’s like to be “dinner & dessert!” I was nervous too, but it felt WONDERFUL! Eventually, I was the one “directing” these two men, what to do to me, what positions to hold and so on.

    Just reassure her Bob, it will eventually come down to her just jumping into it.

  • 23 c m // May 23, 2009 at 12:48 am

    my wife is really turn on by the thought of a mmf but is not sure about taking that final step. She a gives me the impression that she wishes i would bring my friend over and just do it but wont come out and say it. She loves me to talk about it when we have sex what should i do?

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  • 26 allstar // Jul 11, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    i just recently had my own holy grail july 4th weekend. this is why i love this website.

  • 27 Lucky Man // Jul 14, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    Have had more than a gfew of the mff three somes,a nd all were great in their own way. All were with my wife. Communicaqtion is THE KEY. We discussed evry possible aspect of the events in GREAT detail, and it was GREAT! If you feel like you can’t OPENLY discuss this with your significant other, then you are not ready for it anyway! BTW, the two girlfriend thing, not all it’s cracked up to be, very hard to maintain.

  • 28 ggg_girl // Aug 5, 2009 at 2:31 am

    your spam blocker ate my first comment :( i’m going to try again.

    MMF doesn’t necessarily have to involve dp. In porn that’s always the main focus because porn is primarily made for men.

    I would like to see MMF that shows one guy rimming the woman while the other one eats pussy, both sucking on her nipples, one making out with her while the other eats her out, etc. That’s the stuff I fantasize about as a woman that isn’t shown.

  • 29 hopefuly lucky man // Sep 23, 2009 at 8:11 pm

    My girlfriend has informed me that she wants to do a mff threesome for me but when offered a mmf she refused. She’s not into girls and was a virgin when we met, so I don’t really know what to think. I think I might feel bad if her and another girl please me and I don’t reciprocate. I’m going to be jealous of another guy with her but its kind of erotic…

  • 30 Ken // Nov 30, 2009 at 1:39 am

    I had a MMF threesome with my wife, we both loved it and have repeated is several times, every one should try this once, wild time was me on bottom in the 69 while she was getting it doggie stile, me licking her clit while she was being hmped drover her over the top, I love what it did to her and if the opertunity came up again i would.

  • 31 Creampielover // Feb 5, 2010 at 11:11 pm

    My wife and I have enjoyed numerous group sex combinations. Our first was a MMMFF experience and we have enjoyed 3 other MMFF ones as well. We had a male friend with whom we enjoyed many MMF exploits and my wife loved it when I licked up our friend’s cum. It started with me licking up his cum from her tits and moved to me eating his cum from her pussy. The final experience was her watching me suck him till he shot his cum onto my tongue while I sucked him to orgasm. All of it was amazing. I still fantasize about eating her cum filled pussy and she has promised me that it will happen soon. I love her after she has been fucked by another man. Any other takers? I’m in Chicago. I’m at creampielover@ymail.com. Maybe you want to be the next. She’s totally hot I promise. Email me.

    T

  • 32 mama // Feb 24, 2010 at 11:12 am

    Planning a MFF with a work friend and his girlfriend on Saturday… should be interesting. Totally looking forward to it, and will fill you in on the details after!

  • 33 MckeeRACHAEL // Mar 22, 2010 at 9:27 am

    Some time before, I needed to buy a car for my business but I didn’t earn enough cash and couldn’t purchase anything. Thank goodness my fellow suggested to try to take the mortgage loans at creditors. Thus, I did that and was satisfied with my short term loan.

  • 34 carl coughin // Apr 3, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    male who has lost a seven year threesome due to them moving to australia last year. i had to stay as im a single parent, although i miss them dearly its time to find a new couple to love. hope i find it here

  • 35 MMF3some // Jul 15, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    Threesome’s are awesome. I’ve had several with my wife. MMF. I’m into it, she’s into it, and it’s been the same guy. He’s a pretty good friend and trustworthy so we don’t worry about it.

    I’m a little curious about him though. I don’t know how he or she would react for that matter. My wife seems to like it when I eat her out when she is full of cum and kiss her while she’s blowing him, but I haven’t built up the nerve to say, “Can I suck your cock,” I don’t think of myself as gay, but I do look at the threesome as a pleasurable event for all involved. Shouldn’t that include me too?

    Last time it happened, I was kissing my wife with his cock an inch from my mouth and hers. She kept going back and forth between us. He ended up cumming in her mouth and without missing a beat, she kissed me immediately after like she wanted me to have his cum in my mouth. I know it’s kind of taboo, but can anyone offer any tips on how to get the idea out tactfully? I don’t just wanna throw it in my mouth and ruin the moment and the opportunity for a threesome, but then again, I don’t know how to approach it.

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