I get e-mails often from guys who need a further explanation to what I wrote in this blog and majority of the time, the e-mails are quick and easy fixes, but this particular e-mail I received recently from a reader was good enough to publish on here, so here we go:

Sounds like college romance, except not so much romance involved.

This story sounds familiar; I think I’ve heard it more than a few times, so let me elaborate on your points and where you’re going wrong.

Confessions are for criminals

You admit to “confessing” your feelings to her. Smooth move, creeper.

NEVER admit to a woman how you feel about her directly. You could talk to her, flirt with her, take her out, whatever, but you should NEVER admit to a woman what you think of her in an emotional setting until you’re actually with her. This comes across as needy and needy is the last thing a woman wants in her life.

Furthering the “needy”…

Point A to Point B takes longer than a week

Part of me thinks you’re overreacting this whole thing. You said you spent a week with this woman post-”confessing” and it all went well. One week. A week where she still has a boyfriend.

Then you note she stopped talking to you for a few days and ignored your messages and such. Why would you be messaging her so much for her not to respond? She might have been busy with something, and even more practical, maybe you two don’t need to talk everyday? I’ve been in many awesome relationships that didn’t involve daily contact. It makes the other party miss you and the feeling of missing someone is a strong feeling. When you didn’t talk to her, she came back, didn’t she? Keep your distance, even if you do get her.

You probably won’t get her any time soon

Sad reality is no matter what happens, you will likely have to wait a long while to figure out what happens between her and you and in all reality, you two won’t end up together. She has a boyfriend. She will tell you he’s stupid, annoying, childish, and cheap but will never tell you he’s amazing in bed, really good looking, and treats her the way she wants to be treated, and I’m not talking about the way Disney movies tell you how to treat a woman. This kid might actually be a man. Who knows? But right now, she’s with her and you’re on the outside.

If a woman wants to leave a dude, she will eventually. You either have to deal with being very patient and pathetic or owning up to the reality and move past it.

It’s your choice first, not hers

I don’t recommend holding your life back to wait for this woman; as noted, it’s just pathetic. You mentioned she was a bit jealous when you and the guys went out to pick up women, but won’t acknowledge you in public. That means something…

SHE’S JUST A FRIEND

You’ve overanalyzing this stuff, kid. The answers are clearly in your face, but like a lot of guys, you want to hear that this is going to turn out benefiting you.

IT NEVER DOES WORK OUT THAT WAY!

I would slowly loosen your grip on this woman and pursuit other chicks. When this particular girl is single on her own terms, maybe you can consider pursuing it again, but for now, I would try to emotionally lessen your feelings for her and focus on other things in your life.

I know I’m being harsh, but I hope I could help.

SEMISHOCK

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