|While most of the time, women are the ones who initiate a breakup in a relationship, the Man of Exception tends to be the exception to the rule.
Still, in order to breakup with a woman, especially one of value, there needs to be a justified reason to do so.
Saying “it wasn’t a good fit” or “we were going in different directions” works fine for a fug or a woman who put on 20 pounds in the past month, but not with a woman other guys are going to want the second you put her back on the market.
These five reasons are not only legit reasons to let a woman free. While some are more obvious than others, if your woman demonstrates any of these, it shows you she’s not worth your valuable time, money, or effort.
She cheated on you
The reason I put this one first is simple: It requires the least explanation.
If a woman cheats on you, there is no “make-up” ground; it is complete end-game. Say your farewells and move forward.
She’s too demanding
Some women are used to being satiated majority of the time by their past lovers, so they develop a bit of a bitch mechanism that could end up making you miserable.
If your girl demands that you continue to go out of your way to impress her, you should find a new woman. Just because she won’t ever be satisfied with shit doesn’t mean you should have to put up with it.
She’s too emotional
I originally had this one marked as “She’s too jealous”, but I think it all goes hand-in-hand.
Someone once said something to me that summarizes it all: Be warned when a woman is really passionate because passion can go both ways. She can be the most loving woman you could ever meet but she could also be the most miserable, obnoxious you ever meet either.
Some women are just crazy; there is no better way to explain it. Everything she does is just irrational. She goes ape-shit for absolutely no reason. If you do something small, she makes it something big. She makes your life miserable because she’s not sane.
You will rarely be able to tell a girl you’re seeing is an emotional wreck until months into the relationship, so don’t be discouraged that you made the mistake in choosing a loon. It’s her fault; not yours.
She stops putting out
In some instances, this one goes in conjunction with “She cheated on you”. In other instances, she’s just incapable of having sex anymore (emotionally lost interest in it, body pain, etc). More common of all, your woman is just not aroused by you anymore physically.
Whatever the case… If you still desire sexual attention from your lover and she does not oblige, it is usually time to end the relationship versus cheating to get your “fill” in life.
I do recommend attempting to solve the problem before anything else (counseling, conversation, etc), but if there is no hope, you should split ways and remain friends. If one party is no longer physically attracted in the other, it makes no sense to continue to beat the dying horse.
Note: I am not saying it’s right to leave your girlfriend when she can’t have sex due to physical issues; that is very dependent on the person and the situation. I just don’t want to sound like a scumbag by telling you to get rid of a great woman due to something she has no control over.
She’s not in love with you anymore
There comes a time in some relationships where the flame just burned out, but no one to throw away the ashes just yet, so they both stay in the relationship and hope things get better.
They never get better.
Even if you still love a woman, that doesn’t mean she still loves you. If she starts demonstrating signs of relationship indifference, it is possibly time to be the bigger person and end it.
You’ll both hurt for a good period of time, but at least being hurt is making progress; staying in a stagnant situation to avoid your humanity isn’t.
- Reasonable reasons; don’t try to be funny. [↩]
40 responses so far ↓
1 isa // Jun 14, 2008 at 4:46 am
I hope you aren’t suggesting that a person should leave his girlfriend because she’s not putting out due to actual health problems. Because that would make you the biggest piece of shit ever.
2 dudez // Jun 26, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Wtf does it matter if it is health problems or any other reason? If needs are not being met, that’s it.
3 amber // Sep 18, 2008 at 12:27 am
Do any of you guys have real girlfriends anyways? It sounds like if you are either following or writing this piece of shit you really won’t have to worry about losing a girlfriend because you probably don’t have one to begin with.
4 semishock // Sep 18, 2008 at 12:28 pm
@amber – I actually have a girlfriend, for a long while too. We have a really good relationship.
The purpose of this article actually evolved from a question from a reader who wouldn’t dump his girlfriend though she made him miserable.
I wasn’t attempting to be condescending. A lot of these “rules” apply to women toward men too.
5 confused lad // Mar 24, 2009 at 11:52 pm
i have been in a relationship with my girlfriend almost 2 years now, she want’s me to move in with her, but she puts her friends before me as she said her ex stopped her seeing them, i’ve had to put my friends on hold for her loads of times, i feel unwanted. we don’t really have much sex either, 3times a month if i’m lucky. never dumped a girlfriend so kind of stuck here, she makes me feel bad if i talk about it as if i don’t love her. what do you think i should do?
6 semishock // Mar 29, 2009 at 3:16 pm
@ConfusedLad – You dump her. Who cares if you haven’t dumped a girlfriend before? You seem very unhappy. You deserve to be happy. So… be happy. Dump her. The end.
7 Shy_Guy // May 8, 2009 at 3:20 pm
My gf and I r together 4 around two years now,everything is well untill her EX shows up and they started talking over the phone.But she quits it after a very long and painful days of waiting.Now,she would’nt have sex with me??when I ask why she will never tell me.But when I think of leaving her,I just can’t bear it.Any advice plissss.in my mail
8 semishock // May 8, 2009 at 3:48 pm
@ Shy_Guy – Those ex-boyfriends can be a bitch.
Talk to her about it; see what she really wants.
If she wants to be with her ex, she’ll end up with him. At this point, you’re better off just asking her about it and accepting whatever decision she makes.
9 INVISBLE MAN // May 12, 2009 at 1:02 pm
My girl friend and i has been together for about 8 months we get along fine sometimes, we live about 45 minutes away from each other we work at the same place but she just making me miserable from the other day every moment she’s away its like she thinks im cheating and accuses me also when i leave work she times me, so after about 10 minutes after i am home she is on the phone and does not want to come off i cant even get my fridays anymore and the main reason why im thinking of breaking up is because she is “never wrong” and she said that she just cant change but i really love and finally worked up the courage to tell her lastnight its over but she calls back after a hour and tells me she is preganant which she might be because we dont use a condom and she claimed she did the pregnancy test and she took it here this morning to work to show but as i said i realy love her but i am also very young and amitious and had just made up my mind to leave. Keep in mind that this is a girl that men are dieng to have not to sound cocky. She takes care of me, sex is good, she is pretty but annoying sometimes tall and knows how to put herself together but some how she thinks that having all that i just mentioned is grounds for “never being wrong” even she is its like she just beleives it should be overlooked and its not that way with me. when i mess up i have to go through this long making up process that takes two to three days and in that time i am also miserable the makeing up i mean. But i love and i wanna know if i should just try and see if she can change or just end it before it gets worse and i took too long and cause even more severe damge to both me and she.
If there is typos or grammatical errors forgive me im at work
10 semishock // May 12, 2009 at 7:38 pm
@INVISIBLE MAN-
I kind of know what you’re going through; I’ve been with a woman similar to that.
If you’re unhappy, you have to walk away. Every moment you spend with her unhappy is a moment you could be with someone else and happy with your situation.
Trust me… it’s tough. I’ve had to do it and you’re miserable the first few weeks, but time does heal those wounds.
You gotta have faith in the way things just tend to go.
11 devin // May 31, 2009 at 3:13 am
Well i have a girl friend that iv bin with for 5 years we hooked up wen we were both 18 and now were 22.every time we arue her excuse is ‘thats not what i ment’ its like every time we fight its up to me to make it better. how much more can i fix things if there just going to relapse in a few months?
12 devin // May 31, 2009 at 3:18 am
I love the girl dearly and she feels the same but when dose a guy get a break?u feel like a bandaid thats bin tookin off n put back on to many times. were both young and attractive and im shur i would have no problem finding somone who could on the same wave length as I. WOW We’ev bin thro alot but how do u let a part of u go?
13 semishock // Jun 1, 2009 at 9:45 am
@Devin -
Sometimes, we justify how long we’ve been together as a measure of how serious the relationship is.
You mentioned being an attractive male; never forget that. If you feel you are capable of finding another woman who will make you less miserable, then I say go for it.
You two probably aren’t right for one another and you should cut your ties before it gets worse. The bickering isn’t gonna stop on her part, so you’re better off searching for something new.
14 richierich // Jun 2, 2009 at 11:27 pm
i’ve been with my chick for 5 years now, i love her dearly but i’m not finding her attractive anymore. i go out with my friends and i realize that i can still get numbers and what not. don’t get me wrong, my girl is pretty hot…but she doesn’t flaunt it as much as she should and her usual jeans and t-shirt look is boring me…it’s making our sex life sink too as she does not feel attractive anymore and she does not put out…
is this a shallow reason for wanting to dump her?
on top of this, she has a loser-addict family. i know that if we marry they’re going to always be around and that scares me…it also gets me thinking that maybe i should jump ship now before it’s too late.
15 semishock // Jun 3, 2009 at 5:54 pm
@RichieRich -
For a second, I thought you were my friend Richie; he’s been in a relationship for like 5 years and his girl is definitely fuckable, kind of like how your girl sounds.
I don’t think it’s a shallow reason for wanting to dump her, but let me warn you outright: Being single again might motivate her to go back to being hot and make you regret dumping her in the first place.
Maybe you should just talk to her about the problem, let her know how you feel about her and your sex life. You’ve already been through a good deal and the grass might not be greener.
As for her family, there’s not much you can do, outside of moving out of whatever area you live in and get away from them. Family might be a big part of her life, but if not, find a way out ASAP.
I’d stay with her. Shocking enough, I would. I usually recommend men leave their women they are unhappy with, but you seem to have a knockout who is just on a down note. Make her feel sexy; could end up relighting the fire!
16 James // Jun 16, 2009 at 1:58 pm
An insecure girlfriend is a recipe for disaster. I guess that can kind of go hand in hand with her being “too emotional”. If the girl doesn’t love herself and has very low-self esteem (although they cover it up on the surface), it will end in a frustrating nightmare. She will be mad if you go out with your friends, pick fights, and just generally complain about life in general and how much it sucks for her, and how terrible her friends are.
You must find somebody who has their shit together and does not dump their baggage on you on a daily basis. Thats not fun. It also will lead to pent up frustration on your part, and the relationship will spiral downward.
Don’t worry, once you dump her or she dumps you, she will find somebody in a couple weeks to fill the void, and then the process will repeat.
17 icepop // Aug 12, 2009 at 8:53 am
MOE :
Some sound advice with contextual words of caution. I think you have it right in making men examine WHY they want to break-up. But, your first five are spot on.
And Amber would be the first one to go. Her reaction said it all.
18 Jake // Oct 13, 2009 at 8:55 pm
@Semishock
wow dude. I totaly get what your saying.
The whole point of a relationship is to be happy. if your not happy, there is no point.
19 Jake // Oct 13, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Yea… any ideas on how to let my chik down softly?
20 Mark // Nov 13, 2009 at 3:24 pm
Semishock… i understand everything you say. You are logical in your responses, it’s best to be happy. However, every relationship has its ups and downs whether you like it or not, thats life. But if you love a girl and you can see yourself spending life with her then you should talk to her and try to make it work. Weigh out the good times and the bad i.e. the pros and cons. If no improvement and there are more cons then get away. It seems that everyone posting on here is resorting to website advice rather than there own instinctive judgement. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
21 Mark // Nov 20, 2009 at 11:23 am
I just dumped my girl, she was putting zero effort in and failing to compromise.
Thing is she seems to expect us to be friends, as she has been friends with her ex’s before. I deal with things in a different way. I want to cut her out of my life 100% Zero contact.
I had to delete literally every mutual friend we have on facebook to get clear. Its harsh but sometimes you just gotta do it!!
22 Tj // Dec 27, 2009 at 4:40 am
Hey, where did Amber & all the other chicks with comments disappear to. I’ve been dating women over 20 years & I have yet to come across women who provide actual advice as opposed to criticism on a man’s actions.
Sometimes you want change. After all, life is to short.
23 Angry and sad // Jan 14, 2010 at 8:12 pm
So me and my gf been dating 2 years, she dumped me half way after we went to europe cause i called her some bad names… 2 months later we gave it another go. went good weve been living together for five months, since day one i havnt been doing enough to help out so i now wash dishes cook, take care of her dog, and do garbage, and have a full time job mon-fri 7-5. she gets angry over little things like once a day it seems or crys or for ex her parents pay her rent and food bill. her mc was maxed out and she through a temper tantrum when they only put 300 on it… it made me a little sick to say the least. i come from a 5 kid family shes an only child. i comprimise all the time i tell her shes right because i dont want to fight, i love her so so much she is so beautiful and i wonder if i did break up with her if it would be the biggest mistake i make…
24 chiara // Jan 29, 2010 at 5:45 pm
From a girl’s point of view here I’m agreeing with semishock…if you’re not happy, it’s also very very likely that she’s not happy, and even if she protests and cries over it for weeks…in the long term it’s better for both of you.
25 Kyle // Mar 9, 2010 at 10:11 am
reasons not mentioned:
“chronic” financial instability
lack of drive/ambition
no goals
poor hygiene
poor self-image
many other negatives. was this list made for high schoolers?
26 Dave // Mar 15, 2010 at 7:50 am
None of these things really fit my situation… My girlfriend hasn’t cheated on me. I’m the one who doesn’t put out as often as she likes. She’s not particularly needy and she’s madly in love… I think a lot of it is that I can deal with all of her flaws except the “I’m not going to get off my ass and get a job” flaw. I don’t mind taking care of a girl, but if she can’t take care of herself then I’m not that interested
27 Haley // Mar 17, 2010 at 1:24 pm
I just have to poop really bad.
28 me myself and i // Mar 21, 2010 at 10:21 pm
my gf and me have been dating for 9 months now, i do love her, but she wont have sex. also she has really low self asteem and i can never poke fun at her without her getting a little pissed, we both are physicaly atrated 2 one another but, i mean should we still be together?
29 The man from Oz // Mar 24, 2010 at 7:00 am
Mate, It’s great to see such frank advice on the web that guys can actually relate to up front.
Dating particularly in the 35+ age range I find is even trickier as both guys and girls have so much extra baggage and emotional issues..
What drives me nuts is when one blames the other for the ‘issues’ that they came into the relationship with. And that old saying pops into my head, ‘misery loves company’.
30 fdsa // Mar 24, 2010 at 5:54 pm
been with my gf for just over 6 months. she is extremely EXTREMELY nice but very clingy and expects me to spend too much time with her. i’ve been a little bored with our relationship for a couple months now and have wanted to break up with her. my main reason is that i am a freshmen in college and i want space and freedom to go have fun, and she is really into her studies during the week, but expects me to give up my weekends to her. Another complication is that her only two close friends transferred schools after the first semester, and i know if i break up with her she will seriously have nothing to do except school work and i’m really going to feel like a dick doing that to her. any help i can get would be really appreciated. thx
31 Matt // Mar 29, 2010 at 12:42 am
Hi, I’ve had a girlfriend for the past 2 months. When we’re with each other we always have a great time; no arguments, laughing a lot, kissing etc but when we’re not together (most of the week due to school/work) everything seems to result in a stupid pointless text argument which really does my head in. Tried to break it off before but she started crying and told me she can change. So now we’re back together but in all honesty I just don’t want to be, I don’t have much excuse to dump her, just that we don’t see each other enough and I’m sick of the texting all the time. What do I do?
32 EndGame // Apr 7, 2010 at 5:29 pm
my gf pretty much flat out told me i was never going to have sex with her unless we got married, and with a 5 year gap before either of us are allowed to, you fill in the blanks, should i dump her because she has no respect for what i want when i do nothing but kiss her ass or stay?
33 underageiamnot // Apr 15, 2010 at 10:47 pm
endgame, are you 13? The ‘i am not having sex until i am married’ line is old, and vanishes as time goes by. She may be too youngg to start having sex so she may use the line for that reason even if not realizing it. You are both probably very young yet, so spend some time holding hands, going to movies and the ice cream parlor. The sex will come soon enuff if you stick it out
34 EndGame // Apr 17, 2010 at 7:23 pm
actually we’re both 18, i was talking about when we were out of college dude…
35 henry // Apr 25, 2010 at 6:51 pm
Hey, I know I’m a sucker, it’s wierd it makes me feel alright in the moments of bliss, it makes it all worth it. Damn, is it? I begto differ.
.
I really enjoy my to be dumped girlfriend, her mind body and spirit. We have such wonderful conversations, a lot to say to each other.We have only been seeing each other for 5 weeks. She has itroduced me to a lot of things and places to go see and enjoy. I can see how I became enamered with her.I have enjoyed taking her out and spending my hard earned money on her, Jeckle and Hyde, I dont care if she is not working right now,she looks after rentals.
Man she still flies off the noodle for nothing, like throwing out an empty cheez wizz jar thats been there since toilet paper. Never have I had to poke out my own eye! Bend over backwards to be pleasing, god forgive you if you interupt her,dont try to get close if she has been drinking, It’s quite draining honestly, whats up with these pretenders? Always professing what they are and telling you what you nEEd to be. A relationship is a cycle of life that is battered by conviences, hinderd by mans own evolution.
She gives me training lessons, to true. I’m a dumbass!! so today I hope to accomplish this ever getting easier task of my 2 weeks of freedoms and sadness. Thank you, to all you women, for nothing but an amusment of ones’ mind, fragmeted view on life. Never will I give up on the golden egg of happiness.
For it is truly sad that she, and I cannot make it work.
Hey thanks for the space dude, Chow.
36 semishock // May 9, 2010 at 5:59 pm
@Endgame –
I would dump her and find someone new. If you want to have sex and she wants to hold out, you will be suffering, and for what? A 20-something year old woman that has never had sex and will likely be awkward and horrible at it?
Walk away now.
37 Polemic 2 // Jun 11, 2010 at 6:11 pm
If after you’ve mentioned at least a couple of times behavior that you think is rude, no show, not returning calls for example, then you either need to accept the rude behavior or not, we, men and women deserve what we tolerate, nuff said.
38 Cody // Jun 20, 2010 at 6:28 am
I think you have to learn to listen to your “gut” in these situations.
I’ve made the best decisions when I’ve listened to my gut–to that part of me that, deep down, KNOWS what the right thing to do is, even though it may be scary as hell, or it’s really difficult. As cornball as it sounds, be true to YOURSELF and what YOU know is right, not someone else’s advice on a situation they have only a very vague feel for what it’s really like.
That said, lol, If you’re still struggling, then do this: ask yourself if you’ve been enjoying the relationship lately. If you haven’t, and you’ve been having shit thoughts about the relationship for a while now and you honestly can’t see it getting better when you look into the realistic future, then find a way to leave. Yes, it’s hard and scary if you haven’t done it a lot, yet. But learn from those who have gone before you: it’s actually less painful and easier to get out of a bad thing sooner rather than enduring and aborting later, after you’ve both ground each other down to the bone of your sanity and happiness. Get out while you’re still alive.
If, on the other hand, you have been enjoying being with that person most of this past while, except for when this xyz fucking thing happens and the this and the that and you just want to fucking leave right now, but it’s usually alirght between the two of you, then use your words and talk to her about what’s bothering you. Just be honest and don’t try to manipulate. If you’re with someone worth keeping and you are someone worth having, you’ll be able to work it out this way.
That’s been my experience.
39 swift // Jul 4, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Thanks a lot guys, I’ve been having this crazy internal debate about what i should do about my miserable situation. I now have some motivation to get this done.
40 MK // Aug 8, 2010 at 10:29 pm
I have been dating this girl for almost 4 months and we have a great time together and she make me feel happy whenever I’m around her. We don’t argue and she’s really calm. She drove last night and she was wasted. She knows I hate drunk drivers. She had a dui in the past already. Here’s the thing, I drank a little and drove last weekend. Am I a hypocrite if I dump her for this?
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