Man of Exception

How to Create an Interesting “About Me”

Men aren’t the best communicators. Few have the balls to address their feelings, many don’t have a valid opinion about anything beyond whose winning the Super Bowl this season, and when faced with the prospect of “picking up” a woman, they ask banal questions and make repetitive statements, ranging from the ever-courteous name compliment to asking where the lass went to college.

You would think that even though men have limited skill when it comes to talking about anything of substance that explaining a paragraph’s worth about themselves would be manageable. Strangely enough, from doing a bit of research on mySpace, it seems men have difficulty talking about themselves too, even in text form.

When a man is trying to meet women on the internet, having an engaging profile is detrimental to his success; if he looks boring or stupid, it won’t help his chances when a potential interest stumbles upon his page.

I took the initiative to look through an hour’s worth of mySpace profile in the northern New Jersey area, just to see what gems I would come across.

There are some similarities in each attempt, mostly grammatical and spelling errors that display stupidity, but you can also see likeness within the direction of the writing; many of these men are saying the same exact thing, just in their own, ridiculous way.

(Note: These were taken from actual mySpace profiles. I’ve held off actual names and URLs to avoid embarassing any of these kids. While it might seem like I’m attempting to embarrass them with my commentary, I am just trying to display a “What Not to Do” for concocting an “About Me” section.)

A LiL About me : Well lets see, My name is (withhold) and I’m 23 years old. I’m Italian & Irish , Also raised in (city) . I’m a go getter, I work Really hard on Achieving my Goals. I’m Very Independent, I love wearing nice Suits and being able to Dine at nice Resturants. I enjoy the Leisure of walking into a store and being able to Buy what I want. I’m a Big Jets fan. I’m Lucky to Live the Life I Live and I’m Living it to the Fullest. My Philosophy : I’ve Learned That The Greatest Challenge Of Life Is To Decide Whats Important And To Disregard Everything Else..

The most fascinating thing in this masterpiece¹ is the thing about “wearing nice suits, dining at nice restaurants”; it tells a story of a provider and a woman looking for that kind of man might find him alluring due to this. On the contrary, an individualistic woman would likely find him to be shallow².

You also have to adore when someone gives you their philosophy on life; especially with the grossly overused “I live my life to the fullest” declaration.

Ok about me — hmmmm…. Name is (withhold) — can call me (withhold) if you want.. whatever haha Im cool and shit. Get a long with pretty much everyone. In school i dont talk to much, thats cause im bored tired and pissed most of the time in there. haha. outside of that though im fuckin insane. ask anyone who knows me. i love to smoke and drink. drugs are whatever man — you life not mine. oh and if your a blonde — get in touch with me. i love em ahha IM OUTT~~~ HIT ME UP ON :::: (withhold)

This peon is typical New Jersey, unfortunately. It’s crazy that New Jersey has some quality school systems and is the home base for many pharmaceutical companies, yet dum-dums like this guy continue to exist.

Why do people “hmmmm” in online writing? It’s similar to saying “like” or “you know”; they’re stop-gap mental farts, not online farts.
I couldn’t list his nickname on the blog, but trust me, it was dopey.
“Whatever HAHA”. Yes… we are laughing at you too.
In school, he doesn’t talk much because he’s bored, tired, and pissed most of the time. TMI?
Trust me, trooper, we all know you’re insane. No need to inform us.
He does drugs? That explains a lot.
He likes blondes? I doubt he finds one dumber than him.
I’m guessing him leaving his AIM screen name didn’t lead to much sex.

This dufus is white trash who is lucky to live with middle-class parents. He does a hell of a job of deterring women. Definitely seems like the type to target drunken jailbait, doesn’t he?

yeah i'm (withhold) depending on where you live. anyway, i'm not that special. im 16 so ive had my license for a month or 2. i go to bear creek and i live in (city) or (city) in the summer. i play football and rugby. i'm a master debater, lol, yea that joke is old, sry. yea thats all about me really if u want to kno more get my and call me.

He started with "I'm not that special". I know he's 16, but I think you're taught in the womb to value yourself more than that.He does talk about some interests, but they are typical guy interests. Nothing that will pull a woman in.The "master debater" joke killed him. Murdered him. Mass genocided him.

Like I say, I'm everything a Girl could ask for. I'm educated, Intelligent, Mature, good-looking, and b. I am one of the most faithfull and dedicated people you will ever meet.

Besides being the Nicest person you'll ever meet, I'm one of the most caring & Thoughtful.

I've always been the shy & quiet one. I'm not introverted, I open up often. Just have a conversation with me. I have a laid-back and cool Easy-Going Personality. I treat everyone with respect, especially the ladies. I'was never in a fight in my whole entire Life And I don't plan to be in one. I don't like to argue or be a jerk.

I Graduated Fairleigh Dickinson University Madison in 2005. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology and also in Communication Studies. I'm Getting ready to start working on my Masters Degree in Clinical/Counseling Psychology. However, I am currently a Substitute School Teacher at my Old Alma Matter, Woodbridge High School. I also help my Dad do Plumbing Work and Construction So I can pay back Our Fine Delightful University

At this point, I'm unsure about my career. I love the Medical field, I like the Education field. I also am interested in Law Enforcement. I Just took the NJ civil service test and I am now in the eligability pool to be hired as a Police Officer. I would love to be an FBI Agent and I would do an internship if it was available in Newark. But, I am 28 years old, its been 10 years since High School – Meaning I better start making my mind. I didn't neccesarily have the easiest time after High School, which is one explanation why I am older than the average college student.

Even though I run with my Crazy 2 year old Golden Retriever about 5 miles everyday, I still manage to still be a fat ass. My Dog Ogie is the Apple of my Eye. You will never meet a happier dog than Him. He is loved by everyone and he is loving towards everyone too.

I'm An Ultra Right-Wing conservative Person too. That doesn't mean I picket abortion clinics or dislike people because of their heritage. Nothing could be further from the truth. (It doesn't make me a Republican either!!!) I am just a traditionalist and I believe in doing what is right. I am actually an Environmentalist and Love animals. However, Don't get me mixed up with those Green Peace or E.L.F. Hippies.

I've studied History and politics in my spare time and I can hold a good debate. I am a Religious Byzantine (Greek) Catholic and I attend Church frequent, especially after 9/11.

Much of my hobbies are those that rubbed off on to my be my family, especially my Grandfather. I still have a garden to grow my own Vegetables. I can also cook a Good steak… I gained ALOT of knowledge and Wisdom by watching & listening to my elders!!!

My favorite in the bunch, as noted in the original post. He starts off by qualifying himself? WHAT THE FUCK? You can smell a chump from a mile away when he starts his profile by qualifying himself. Plus, the early parts of his profile are braggadocious. Nicest? Most caring? Thoughtful? Good-looking? HAHAHA He gives too much information throughout the profile. Way too much. He will spend most of his conversation with a woman (if he ever has one) repeating what he said in his profile.

He's also a liar. Runs 5 miles a day and he's still fat? Yeah, no. He mentions political stance, which is a no-no, and then he apologizes for his beliefs. Plus, he mentions "doing what is right", which rubs me as a bit stuck-up. He also comes across as a "family boy" who listens to the bullshit his family feeds him. It all makes sense, as he seems ultimately confused about his life, just by reading his profile.

The profile was too long, told too much, and said nothing overly fascinating about him. It accomplished nothing.

HMMMMM?? Let’s see….. My name is (withhold) and im 21. I’m in a frat at William Paterson University and I’m a communications major.

Ive had my share of fuck ups in the past few years and way too much drinking. The most important thing is Ive learned from mistakes. Its hard to find good friends and a good girl which is something I dont take for granted. I feel ive calmed down alot with parties and shit since im workin 3 jobs and going to school.

If your a sexy chiq message me and we’ll chill. Anything else just ask me about…

This guy goes from “on the surface” to “way too deep” in a matter of seconds, but additionally…

My favorite line is obvious. The “sexy chiq (yes, chiq) should message him and they’ll chill” thing is kind of hysterical. No woman will respond to that. Well, I forgot… he lives in New Jersey, so maybe he has a chance.
See the irony in wanting to find a “good girl” and then mentioning the “sexy chiq” thing. The kid is a nut.

Not much else I can say about his genius without being a dick. He is a poor child.